commitment must be foreign

Remember that day when i changed my mind again
and was too busy to explain
and you ignored me and just said no.
i guess you were listening when i spoke.

-

I dont make decisions.
my head thinks too hard
and my fingers ache for a torture
to fuel me as i scribble down more
bullshit about confusion and love.
turns out i dont like when other people
make my decisions for me either.

-

sometimes i think im too screwed
up to hold onto your heart without dropping it.
sometimes i wonder if im just too...concentrated.
is it possible to del-lute someones personality?
im pretty sure im too crazy,
but ive heard by knowing that,
it makes me normal.
normal makes my lungs itch.

-

its like when you tell me to stop when
i get scared you'll stop loving me.
its like when you say your not going to
give up on me and two minutes later say,
"just forget all of it."

-

i told you not to trust me,
you told me it would work.

-

its like when you let me drink till im gone
because you know when my heart is
intoxicated im ok with touch.
its like when you show me your skin
because you know i love to be the
exception to the rules.

-

your words turn me on the way
my lies do,
i love when i beat my conations.
the way getting hit in the face does,
the way i dont want to get bored again.

-

...my fear and your determination
keep this love afloat.